I think that I can sit here and just wish that things would end up my way. That I, in the end would be able to be with the guy I love and who I would be willing to give and do so much for. But what should you do when he doesn't want it anymore - just keeping on pushing me more and more away.
I continue dreaming me away and just seeing the things I want to see, and the things I dream about. But the more and more energy I lay on this, the more and more disappointed I get. Angry at myself, disappointment too. I mean come on, we're not even together anymore and still I sit and wish that it might be us anyway in the end. The thought itself makes me happy but it makes my heart hurt even more. I have no idea anymore about anything and it makes me annoyed.
If there was a song that would be able to explain all those emotions and feelings that all are boiling inside of me, it would go on repeat all the time. But I haven't found that one yet, but I've promised myself that I won't stop looking for it. Cause I actually love him...and it hurts...Too bad 'Come What May' isn't the same for him anymore like it was when him and me were us. He told me that he didn't want me to be upset... Guess what people, I don't want to be either, but I am rather that then indifferent or all blanc on emotions because me being upset/sad whatever, it shows that it meant something. That it wasn't just a fling, an adventure. I dislike people who can say that they love someone so easily. You should say it cause you mean it and feel it.
Okey. Enough meaningless rambles.
I continue dreaming me away and just seeing the things I want to see, and the things I dream about. But the more and more energy I lay on this, the more and more disappointed I get. Angry at myself, disappointment too. I mean come on, we're not even together anymore and still I sit and wish that it might be us anyway in the end. The thought itself makes me happy but it makes my heart hurt even more. I have no idea anymore about anything and it makes me annoyed.
If there was a song that would be able to explain all those emotions and feelings that all are boiling inside of me, it would go on repeat all the time. But I haven't found that one yet, but I've promised myself that I won't stop looking for it. Cause I actually love him...and it hurts...Too bad 'Come What May' isn't the same for him anymore like it was when him and me were us. He told me that he didn't want me to be upset... Guess what people, I don't want to be either, but I am rather that then indifferent or all blanc on emotions because me being upset/sad whatever, it shows that it meant something. That it wasn't just a fling, an adventure. I dislike people who can say that they love someone so easily. You should say it cause you mean it and feel it.
Okey. Enough meaningless rambles.
2 kommentarer:
Not meaningless at all. In fact I saw a lot of meaning in most of those sentences.
It's terrible to hear and see that you're sad, though both you and I know it's healthy to be sad sometimes too. Let the time have its run, and everything will be alright.
You have my number if you need me.
Du ewelina kompis... det är bra att tänka, och du verkar göra det på ett rätt sunt sätt ändå.
saker ordnar sig <3
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