Kent - Ingenting

What can I say?

What can I really say except Thank you. To all of you who truly shows me that you care about me. It means a lot to me. I don't really feel so bad anymore. It's all thanks to you. Some more than others but anyways, I appreciate you all for being there. <3

I really do feel so much better. Sometimes you need to get really low to be able to get up. But as I said, without you guys, I wouldn't have made it. ^_^

Today it's my thrid day without candy and it's going really well, yet I feel I want some right now. And espacially Snickers. You know how couples have their songs, their places etc. If Ciaran and I would have candy it would be Snickers. xD Why you may ask. Well, the first time, I think it was, when I saw him on webcam he had Snickers! QQ So tasty and delicious. I want some now. But maybe it's just me wanting Ciaran. *giggle* It must be. ^_^

Anyways, mom is making waffles now. *adore* and some whipped cream on that is going to be reward for studying all day long. Yeah ALLLLLLLL day. Or not. xD But many hours today. ^_^

Oh! I got my paycheck from Wasa today. <3 It was so much more than I first thought so that is going to the trip as I might have told you before. *shiftyeyes* And today I'm writing a letter to Ciaran. I will finish it later tonight or something like that. Hope that I will be able to call him soon, I know it's expensive but I don't care. Everything for him so I can hear his voice.

But now it's foodtime. Thank you all again. You guys are lovely. <3

I really...

I really don't feel good today. I stoped with candy last night and things are just feeling awful. I don't know any particular reason to my moodswings lately... My stomache has been hurting like hell back and forth, I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes cause of it. I have almost reached the bottom when it comes to my confidence in myself. I know Ciaran is busy with school and all that, and I want him to be that cause I want him to get to know as many people as possible cause I want him to enjoy it at his new school. He really get along with people so quickly and that makes me so jealous...I really do my best but the people on my class they are so...not dull but they seem to be like terrified to get to know new people... :/
I also quit eating candy now today is the first real day otherwise I quit last night. I'm really stressed too you know...

Exams coming up, me wanting to see Ciaran, me wanting my parents to know how much he means to me. Gosh this annoys me to tears and on top of this all I can't manage to get a grip of my life!

One of those good things that has happened lately is that 1. I got my paycheck from Wasa and it was like twice as much as I first thought. <3 And those money will be enough for the flight+bus in England.
2. The report is done, cause of the work I put down on it.
3. Culture Night was lovely.
4. I have Ciaran.
5. I have all of you guys <3

To be bloody honest, thinking of all the good things that have happened, makes me shine a little on the inside. No wait, not a little. A lot. :)
Now I have to write a little message to a certain Sarah and then I'll study some more. <3

It's your fault

But I love it when it is. I don't know how you did it but to be honest, I'm so glad you made it happen - you made me fall for you. And you know what? I can't stop thinking about you now, 24/7 your voice and words circulate in my head and I don't want it to stop. Even though I feel from time to time that I'm going insane I will not let it stop. My feelings for you are so bloody true and whenever you say something it sounds so honest and real. How did you do it? How did you made me fall in love with you?

"hey there Delilah
dont you worry about the distance
im right there if you get lonely
give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
im by your side

*lots of other lyrics and songs meanwhile*

a thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
id walk to you if i had no other way
our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
that none of them have felt this way
delilah i can promise you
that by the time that we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and youre to blame"

It's one of those songs that means the world to me at the moment.

Ewan McGregory & Nicole Kidman - Come What May
Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing
Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah

It's our songs and we love them.

Omfg!

Omg! It has happened, I never thought it would. I've found love. I can't believe it, it was such a long time since I sat up all night talking to someone. Such a long time since I felt my heart racing like that over small things that, when you said it, meant so much. Even though we are so far away from each other and, we've never met, I just know. Knows that even though it might sound naive, I'm so happy that I've found you and we will make this work out. Going to England once in awhile isn't so bad you know. Fuck expensive yeah but I don't have any other things to spend my money on atm. Yeah, atm that is. Uni is taking up alot of my precious time and I should really write on my report now but I don't care anymore, I will do it. I just have to write.

I need to apologies too, I have been a terrible friend lately but I've been so busy with school and trying to relax and calm down. I am really doing my best you know. I'm thinking about finding a new place to make a blog on. I feel like that this one isn't making me so motivated anymore. I won't delete it, just have it here and write from time to time. But I dunno...

I feel a little mixed atm, dunno why. Maybe it's because I want so badly some things and I know that it's complicated to have it so soon. I've promised myself not to let go of him. My guy, my dark Prince, my Ciaran.

I truly do love you. <3

//Ewelina