Run of the School. XD

Well, I know it's not called that but I love to make up new idiotic words. Anyway, I ran today, 3,8km. I'm so darn proud of myself. I only had to walk approximatley 10 metres due to my foot. I did it anyways! =D

You know that every school has these guys that ALWAYS runs and are superduper fast. Today they didn't ran because one of them were sick. Buhuhu. Like anyone cares, they could've walked instead of starting to jog and then walk. Anyway, I went over the goalline before them, and that was like way ahead before them. I'm so proud. ^__^

Tomorrow I'm going to my friend Amanda to sleep over there. We're going to be 8-10 people over there and we're goingto play Singstar and sing. *lol*

That's all for me this time. :) Bye bye!

Darn it >.<

I've got a test tomorrow. I hope I'll make it. :) I can always hope for that. ^__^ Damn it, my schedule didn't work as I was hoping. But it worked better than nothing. I've done the psychology so I'm proud. ^^

I cooked some food today for my parents. I was so proud, it's been a good day as I can see it. :)

Now I'm going out with the dog. :) Bye bye!

Ta ta!

Letting go...

I'm doing my best. I can feel it, I'm feeling so better. Thanks Alma, Nathalie and like Mike & Jannika. My little duo. *lol* You guys are all so sweet, and even though some aren't mentioned you all have such a big place in my heart. *purr purr* I look like a poddle! Not anymore though.

I've been so alert about getting the driver's licence. I hope my uncle can find a car that I can buy. Well I need the licence first but whatever, it'll come. :)

Hey! I'm training still and last week I did a step test. My pulse was at 133 beats/min I think it was. Going up and down on a board. :) ^___^ Now I'll have to loose weight and get a better condition. :) Yay ya yayayay! ^___^

*hug*

I'm going to make it...

...I can really feel it. Even though I'm a little down now, a good song can help me. There it is. Usher feat. Alicia Keys - My boo I can't stop listening to this song. Such a good song. :)

This week, it has been good. I've been feeling good. As I wrote, I'm a little down at the moment, maybe that's because I haven't been training today. Have to do some sit-ups and stuff. That might cheer me up. ^__^

Thanks you guys for being there for me and listening on my complains all the time. ^_^

I've been out on the roads today, drove around in the car. :P I did good I think. :)

*hugs*

Think I'm on my way...

http://extension_japan.pixbox.se Here you can find a picture of my new hair. The photo uploader isn't working as it should. *mutter*

I can always hope that I'm on my way to the better. You never know really. Sometimes I'm just thinking about what to do with myself. I really don't know if this is normal at times. But you can always hope. ^^

Now I've got to study a little. Can't come after now in school. :P

*hugs* ^^

New haircut!!!

OMG! I love my hair today it's so pretty. My friend Natha took out the synthetic dreads and tadah! A bush of hair on my head. It's huge!

Not so much more to say about today. Just tired. Now movietime!

Tata!

I'll upload a picture when this fucker mucker is working. *unimpressed on internet*

Stupid dreams...

Last night I dreamt... It was a horrible dream, not nice at all. I never in my whole life want to dream it again. I hope it will not hunt me.
My parent screamed, I screamed, everyone screamed and you were just standing there and then disappeared. When I ran after you you hurt me, didn't want to listen to what I had to say. You just judged me and my family, you were so angry that you came forth and you had something in your hand. I thought you were going to hurt me so I hit you in the face. I can remember the anger I had in my body in the dream. I cried, and screamed. It was horrible. Don't ever make me dream it again.

Yet I feel, that I don't ever wish to see him again, I miss him yes and I call him. But I think things like that can never be the same. I need this loneliness. I need the feeling of looking. I just need myself and the people around me. ^_^

Going Under

That's a pretty good song. But whatever. I need something that makes me in a good mood. :)

Damn it I hate to be sick. :( I'm better now though, I'm going to train some today I think. I need it. ^_^ But I'm a little afraid for the physical education tomorrow. We're going to run a lot I've heard. I suck at that. *cries* But I'll do my best!

*hugs*

Happy, is this it?

Today I'm feeling so much better. I'm like shining and smiling all the time. All I can say is thanks to my lovely friends, espacially Cecilia 1 and 2 (CL and CC that is), Jannika, So, Lenno, Håkan Hellström, Alma, Nathalie, Maria and of course lots of other people. Yell at me if I've forgot you. :)
I'm so happy today, I can't wait until I come to school tomorrow so I can hug all of you! Well not all of you, two of you aren't there, and you two, I haven't met you. But you two are soooo cute. *adore you*

Now I shall go out and shop. ^^

Yesterday...

...I freaked out. I got that feeling of loneliness, even though, my friends were all around me, but then again, I got the feeling that I didn't belong there. I was the one who felt lonely in the crowd.

Why am I the one that feels this way, I don't dislike my company, I think they are the best. Maybe it's because I miss that little extra that someone can give. A person who is my other part it doesn't have to be a boyfriend, it could be anyone really.

I just felt so ugly yesterday, not a single person looked at me with an intention to show me that they liked my look. Shallowness isn't what I'm looking for but just one look could be enough for me. That would be what I need.

"We" talked yesterday, things didn't make sense anymore, I didn't want to talk to you, it was too painful. But I didn't know anyone else at the time that could be there for me. Thanks.

When I told a friend of mine that I felt unwanted and ugly, she asked me why, I had to tell her that I was joking and didn't mean what I said, otherwise I'd start crying. I felt the tears in my eyes. I felt that they would come out later, sooner or later that is. I didn't know and just wanted the feeling to disappear. But it will never disappear, not until I'll be able to deal with my problems. What exactly is my problem? What can I do to help myself, what can someone else do for me? I don't know anymore. Take me away...