Saturday Evening

As I sit here on a Saturday evening I feel kind of tired. I've been working hard today. Or maybe not. A little mixture of both you could say. ^_^ Anyways. I'm exhausted and will soon go to bed. But I can't stop thinking about the fact what many other in my age are doing right now. I mean, here I sit, alone infront of the computer, sitting here and just stare at the screen. What else would I do then? I would be sleeping, yes - which I am about to do soon. But I could also be out partying. With the right people it could be really fun, but with the people around here it would be so boring I feel. I actually enjoy sitting here, rather this than drinking myself so drunk that I can't take care of myself.

Anyways, I'm feeling rather good today though I've been a bit ill from time to time.

Gosh it's late. I'll go to bed now. ^_^
*adore*

//Ewelina

I'm not your pile of shit!

That's right I am not and nothing you'll say can make me think like that ever again! You know why? Because it's over. All over. This "thing" between us will never ever happen again. I promise myself that. Something huge has got to happen with you if you want to be with me - like that's going to happen.

I've decided not to go to Stockholm and I'm feeling good about it. I can now save those money and use them on something useful like a car or maybe a trip to London or Japan, haven't decided yet.

And.

A HUUUUUGE thanks to you guys. <3>

Feeling Worthless again! woohoo!

What did I ever do to deserve anything like this shit? All I can feel now is how worthless I am. That I'm not good enough...not even to listen to. I sat and tried to explain what I felt for him, why I couldn't do some things and just like that, no response and all I fucking got from him as a response was him going offline.

I know I'm so naive who thinks things between us could work, that we'd have a relationship and all but it's just not working like that! Not for him. And what he wants isn't enough for me.

I sat there and tried to explain over and over why it felt wrong and he kept on going, kept on pushing me. Of course he's going to say other things later on that would fucking save this whole thing but I can't take this crap anymore! Nothing I do is enough, he can't be satisfied with what he gets! I'm so fucking tired of this crap! Go to hell with it all! I'll go to his town I'll do that but to hell that I'll see him now.

...Gosh do I believe myself when I write this? That I'll actually not care to see him? How could I resist?

I feel like shit about this all...

I made it!

http://ewelaijna.blogspot.com/2007/07/feeling-worthless-again-woohoo.html The link to my newest blog for the day. It didn't seem to work any other way. >.<

Just painted the nails! Well that was not the thing I wanted to write about in the first place but it's true. I made it. xD Another thing that I made is my way to the university! I got in on the IT-design I've applied for. For you who doesn't know what that is it's about computers and designing software (I think) and stuff like that. ^_^ We'll see if I can get in on the Japanese class in Gothenburgh aswell, though I think I'm screwed on that one. Like 13 people has to turn down on it before I can have a place on it so, nah.

I can tell you all who doesn't know that a couple of weeks ago I was on the Peace and Love festival in Borlänge. It was really so much fun! Totally something that I can recommend. I saw Damien Rice, The Ark, Jason Mraz, Mustasch, Slagsmålsklubben, Maia Hirazawa and many many more! It was hella fun! ^___^

Hmm, what more to mention? I don't know atm. ^_^

Have fun!

Infected Mushrooms

Mathias is giving me a bunch of songs from them now. But the one responsible for me starting to listen to them is Mange. I'll thank you both.

When I started to write this blog I felt all down and shitty but I'm not that anymore so I'll not make a huge blog this time. :) I'll stop now. :P

//Ewelina